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    I Remember a Time...

    I remember a time when the presence of the Lord was always with me. Everywhere I walked, He was always in my thoughts. Any question I had, He was there to answer them. I remember that He often would show me truths, the kind that worked in my daily life. Some of them were profound and others very practical. If anyone would have noticed me walking down the street, they would surely have stayed away because I seemed to be talking to someone they couldn't see.

    I remember coming to church and just couldn't wait for it to start. I loved the times of worship. It felt like God showed up in a big way with many falling prone before Him and weeping, repenting as He walked by them and touched each one. I remember times during worship where it seemed I was literally floating as His presence was so strong it affected me physically. His peace that passes all understanding was exactly that, beyond my capacity to understand it.

    I remember the encounters with others who did not believe as I did. The Holy Spirit would speak to me and tell me what He wanted me to do. Sometimes, He would tell me to say something specific to a complete stranger and after doing this, I would see tears well up as their tears would fall down their faces. Some would even collapse to the ground as the Spirit of the Lord touched them in a mighty way.

    I remember those times when He would use me to reach out to those in a time of distress, a vehicle accident, a collapse in the motel kitchen, at various locations wherever I happened to be. In one, a young woman collapsed from the heat in the kitchen and later I learned she was born with a hole in her heart with instructions from her doctor not to work where there is much heat. She worked in this hot kitchen to support an ill mother whom she lived with. This day, the day she collapsed, co-workers from around the complex came and surrounded her as she sat in a chair, trying to recover. When I arrived, without realizing what I was about to do, I reached out, touched her and declared, "Be healed in Jesus' name!" Instantly, everyone in that room had somewhere else to go, like roaches when the lights were turned on, leaving just that young lady and me. I spoke to her about Jesus whom she gave her life to at that very moment. Later, when the ambulance took her to the hospital and her family doctor examined her, it was announced to her that her heart had been miraculously healed. Only she knew how.

    What a wonder was my early experiences in the Lord. So many miracles, so many healings, so many delivered from their fears. I felt I was walking in the book of Acts.

    Then, when taking stock of my life more recently, I wondered where all those things disappeared to. Where was that "ever present" sense of God's presence with me? Where have my daily walks and conversations gone? The eagerness at the beginning of church has waned. No longer did I look forward to going to church and fellowship with the brethren. The voice of the Holy Spirit seemed to have been muted as I no longer felt Him nearby as before.

    Then I remembered. I remember the day that I decided to no longer walk in a way that was to seek God for the benefit of others. I wanted something for myself now. I felt a "me time" was due. I was helped along with this thought by a co-worker who agreed with my conflicting thoughts. So at that moment, I decided that it was 'me time' from now on and so, what I have long avoided and rejected as the temptation of Satan to draw me away with his enticements, I succumbed.

    For the space of about 3-6 years, I forgot who I was and became who I wasn't any longer. Like a dog returning to his vomit, I forgot my years with a loving heavenly Father and chose my own path. I thought I needed a change in my life and chose to divorce my wife of 31 years in the hopes of attracting a younger woman whom I barely knew. Foolish? Yes it was and I've paid the price for that foolishness. Nevertheless, I thought I was better off outside marriage and for those years, sought only to please myself and forgot my God in the process. No longer did I sense His presence. No longer did I hear His voice. No longer did I live in such a way to be of service to the kingdom of God and lay down my life for others. MY life became my all important focus, UNTIL something happened that changed all of that.

    I had a major heart attack right in my apartment I was then living in. I was home and calling my son to wish him a happy birthday. Yes, the date of my heart attack is memorable. May 3rd. While on the phone with him, suddenly, an elephant sat on my chest. I couldn't catch my breath and besides the pressure on my chest, those were the only two symptoms. I got off the phone with my son, leaving him hanging as to my condition. Immediately, I called my ex-wife and told her what was happening and hung up to sit down. As I sat on my living room sofa, I realized the entrance door was dead-bolted shut. I said a "mini-prayer" hoping not to pass out and got up to unlock the door as I had already called EMS. Moments later, they came. While they were checking me out, they affirmed that I was having a major heart attack with 80% of my heart already damaged.

    Three days later, I had a quadruple bypass and a couple of days later was released to finish my recovery at home. My ex-wife met me at the hospital and was there after the surgery. She never left my side through the whole ordeal. I guess someone forgot to tell her we were no longer married. She stayed with me throughout the whole time of my recovery. One day, while she was at work, I sat on that same sofa and was playing a Christian album given to me from my son. By this time, after the near death experience of the heart attack, I realized that God was using this as my wakeup call. I knew He spared my life to give me another chance with Him. So, I sat there on my sofa, listening to this album, closed my eyes and turned my heart towards Him, hoping that He would "fix" me.

    The next thing I knew, I "woke up" sitting in that same position but 3 hours had passed without notice! When I first sat down, I knew I couldn't sense His presence in my life but when I "woke up", I suddenly could sense His presence BIG TIME! It was as if I had never left His side! While I was sitting there on that sofa, the Holy Spirit did His own version of heart surgery. He renewed my heart! Now you would think that I turned away from my "me moments" but this didn't happen right away. Surprised?

    After my full recovery and my body returned to a form of normalcy, I also returned to seeking the company of a certain "non-wife". This utterly failed. Not surprising at all. My venture into "me world" also ended in complete failure. The word of the Lord in the book of Hosea found its way into my life, quite without me realizing it. Here is what His faithfulness looks like when I wasn't faithful:
    “ Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, And wall you in, So that you cannot find your paths. You will chase your lovers, But not overtake them; Yes, you will seek them, but not find them. Then you will say, ‘I will go and return to my first wife, For then it was better for me than now. (Hosea 2:6-7 NKJV) 
    “ Therefore, behold, I will allure him, Will bring him into the wilderness, And speak comfort to him. (Hosea 2:14 NKJV) {altered to personalize}
    Did you know that God is a jealous God? He is and He will not let me wander away again. Just as a famine was released in the land where the prodigal son was in his rebellion, yes, God did that, He cut off my pursuit of my "me life". My ex-wife and I were getting along much better than before my divorce with her and we wanted to get back together again. Without rehearsing all those intermediate steps, I chose to move back into, what is now, her house. To add more to the drama, I suffered another heart attack and two stints were inserted. After this, I could no longer work as I was constantly dizzy, light-headed and out of breath.

    I filed for and received a medical retirement from Social Security. It took two years but it was during that two year period that the Holy Spirit "cemented" our relationship. In the summer of 2013, the Holy Spirit would wake me or keep me awake at 2:00am and instructed me to write. What happened then was something outside any experience I ever had with the Holy Spirit. He began to "dictate" to me. I was given a "gist" of where the message was going but when I began to put this on my iPad, He took over and showed me anywhere from one word to one sentence or paragraph at a time. I was so astounded by this and many times I had to stop and just cry as the revelations of what He was giving to me brought me to my knees.

    During this period, which lasted about 6 months, I never thought to count all the messages He gave me. Then, one day, He showed me to compile those messages into a book. With only my iPad to work from, He led me to a great app that creates ebooks, the kind found on Apple's iOS devices to be read in the iBooks app. Later, after this was finished, I was able to purchase a Macintosh iMac from my delayed payment from Social Security. Once I had this computer, I found an app that could convert my ebooks into a web app that can be easily viewed on any computer or device platform that used a browser.

    One of the things the Holy Spirit told me when He convinced me to write was this. Just as Paul the apostle was young and was able to travel to all parts of the world he was led to and minister what was given to him and fellowship with others, so was I allowed to walk the paths He guided me. Later, Paul was no longer able to travel since he became imprisoned and although he was confined, he was still able to write. I was being confined at home through various physical ailments and could no longer get out and fellowship with others as before and now, He said, "I want you to write." And so I began to write. At first, through His dictation. Now, I write as I feel His leading me and on those subjects that He is impressing me to write, including what you are reading today. He promised me that what I've written will be read around the world and be translated into many languages. Since I know I can't do this myself, I leave Him to accomplish the fulfillment of this promise.

    I finally understood the scriptures that stated "holy men of old wrote as they were inspired by the Holy Spirit". My experience showed me how this worked then and now. It is the same Holy Spirit that inspired them to write what we regard as "the holy scriptures", a God breathed collection of truth and experiences and interaction between God and His chosen ones. Am I making a claim to writing new scriptures? Oh no, not at all. However, God still works and moves through those who will yield themselves to Him.

    Today, I am no longer that man that wanted his "me moment". I've learned my lesson and never want to go back there again. I thank God for His love and His patience towards me. Like He says in Hosea 2:14, He allowed me to run my foolish course to find nothing what I wanted and in this virtual desert, after I found the end of my foolishness, He spoke kindness and mercy to me. I even felt led of the Lord to write something about this, inspired by those verses in Hosea. I recommend you read that message. It can be found on my blog here: You Will Find Me in the Desert

    Today, He has returned to being ever present with me and I can sense His presence. He speaks and I hear and do what He is showing me to do. Lately, what I keep hearing is a call to the church to return to the hearing and obeying of His voice, that voice that I chose to turn away from, just as they have, and is now calling for us to turn away from our self-seeking ways and allow Him to show us where we have fallen, repent and come back to fellowship with Him.

    In essence, He is saying, "I miss you my beloved and I want to renew our relationship, not only as before but I want to go beyond what we experienced together before and into a new beginning and a new vitality and appreciation of each other. Will you come away with me My beloved? Let us go on to the mountains of spices where you will find the healing of the nations upon every tree I show you. Come away with Me and you will find a satisfaction and peace you have never known. I will restore every part of your life as you grow to know Me and My Father in a new and refreshing way."

    The Spirit and the Bride say "Come!"

    Jerry Sundberg

    Soon after I received the Lord in 1976, I started receiving prophetic visions and warnings about the future of the church and the United States. I share my visions on my Hidden Manna websites and offer free of charge my two ebooks entitled “Hidden Manna” and “Hidden Manna 2”.

    Website: Hidden Manna

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    1. Thank you for sharing your testimony as you seek to edify and encourage others by way of your own life experience. The Lord knows those who are His - to those sheep who "listen" and "follow" - he bestows eternal life (Jn 10:27).

    2. Thank you Evan. Sometimes we forget just how powerful our own testimony can be. In the book of Revelations, we are shown that the enemy is defeated by the "blood of the Lamb", "the word of our testimony" and that we love not our lives unto death. This verse is often quoted but without that third part. If we fail in that final part, "love not our lives unto death", then "the word of our testimony" becomes meaningless and powerless. If our obedience is not sufficient to carry us through to death, then I would hold that our testimony lacks sufficiency to defeat the enemy of our souls.

    3. I agree with Evan. Blessed by it and your honesty. Rare indeed


    Item Reviewed: I REMEMBER A TIME... Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Jerry Sundberg
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